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	<title>D&#039;Arcy Norman dot net &#187; communication</title>
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	<description>apparently much happier in person</description>
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		<title>the voice of reason</title>
		<link>http://www.darcynorman.net/2008/11/21/the-voice-of-reason/</link>
		<comments>http://www.darcynorman.net/2008/11/21/the-voice-of-reason/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:47:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>dnorman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[general]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[etiquette]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rants]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.darcynorman.net/?p=2591</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s a really damned scary place, where I&#8217;m the one speaking calmly and acting as the voice of reason. It&#8217;s happened rather more frequently than I&#8217;m comfortable with lately, both online and off.
I don&#8217;t know if it&#8217;s &#8220;the economy&#8221;, or the shorter days, or something else, but some people seem to have collectively lost their [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s a really damned scary place, where I&#8217;m the one speaking calmly and acting as the voice of reason. It&#8217;s happened rather more frequently than I&#8217;m comfortable with lately, both online and off.</p>
<p>I don&#8217;t know if it&#8217;s &#8220;the economy&#8221;, or the shorter days, or something else, but some people seem to have collectively lost their sense of rationality and humour.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dnorman/1811153377/" title="Halloween 2007 - 7 by D'Arcy Norman, on Flickr"><img style="float: right; margin-left: 10px;" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2342/1811153377_88c5c95168_m.jpg" width="240" height="160" alt="Halloween 2007 - 7" /></a>If you read a post by someone online, don&#8217;t jump immediately to paint them as <em>EVIL!</em> if they&#8217;re saying something you don&#8217;t like or agree with. Take some time. Maybe only a few seconds. Breathe. Try to imagine what&#8217;s going on from the other person&#8217;s perspective. Do they have valid reasons for saying what they&#8217;re saying? Could they really be doing the right thing, but you perceive it as EVIL! because you don&#8217;t have all of the facts? Could they really be intending to say something else, but are being misinterpreted due to a language or context gap?</p>
<p>The first step toward effective communication isn&#8217;t kneejerk reactionism. It isn&#8217;t polarizing pigeonholing. It&#8217;s trying to figure out what the other person (or people) are REALLY saying, and <em>why</em>. Then, and ONLY then, is a productive response even possible.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve seen this kind of reactionary kneejerk evilcasting so many times. Usually, it&#8217;s Apple (and Jobs) cast as <em>EVIL!</em> because of DRM or something else (but, seriously, HDCP in the new MacBooks? WTF? It&#8217;s really tempting to cast THAT as <em>EVIL!</em> but again, I don&#8217;t have all of the facts&#8230;)</p>
<p>But now it seems as though the kneejerkism is spreading, and it&#8217;s not productive. It&#8217;s harmful. It&#8217;s corrosive.</p>
<p>We all just need to chill the hell out. Breathe. Think before reacting.</p>
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