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Blog under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License
Nov
4
(2005)
I had to book a hotel room today for the Big Pachyderm Wrapup Hootenanny at the end of the month. The rooms at the Grand Hyatt San Francisco were already sort of pre-arranged, so it was just a matter of calling, saying that yes I needed a room, and providing payment info.
I call the hotel, and the phone is answered by an extremely nice and pleasant operator, who assures me that it would, indeed, be a pleasure to connect me to the reservations desk.
Then, it all fell apart. I’m not sure if the person at Reservations was just having a bad day, or if her cat just died or maybe she was handed her walking papers that morning. But, whatever happened to her to put her in a funky foul mood somehow poured itself into her phone, travelled several hundred miles to the northeast, and oozed out of my earpiece. I felt like I should have been apologizing for interrupting her to give the hotel money in exchange for lodging. How rude and inconsiderate of me.
I eventually got the room booked, with the special meeting rate (”NMC? What does THAT stand for? Oh. Uh huh.”). Next, I went to book airfare. Normally a painless and quick process.
So, I head to the website – where I have already pre-searched for the flights – and proceed to book a seat to SFO. The process goes really smoothly. No attitude from cranky operators, just a relatively well-tuned website guiding me through the process.
Then, after the transaction has gone through, I am greeted by a scary new message. Because I am travelling into US airspace, I need to register with the Advance Passenger Information System (APIS) – oddly close to the AFIS system used on CSI, so I get a bit on edge. I’m told that they need my personal info before I will be allowed to board. But… I just gave my personal information… Not good enough. They need more info to make sure I’m not planning something stupid. Because, you know, having a valid passport number means I’m safe. I don’t carry my passport with me, so I have to resort to the printed form, which I will have to keep with me so I don’t lose it if I want to get on the plane.
It used to be so easy to travel. People were nice. It was almost as though traveling was a good thing. That’s gone. Now, traveling is at best an inconvenience. At its worst, it’s apparently a huge security risk. Why am I going through all of this again?
..because we love you and want you to come down!
Ahhh. I knew there was a reason!
Of course, the “I love you, man!” stuff was pretty much assumed…
never mind travel. automated voice routing and customer service are woefully insincere and cumbersome everywhere. here is a recent example:
i decide to cancel my digital cable and phone the cable company (yes, they are evil EVERYWHERE). my info pamphlet says they’re available 24/7 so i take them up on it at 1am. i listen to an advertising/marketing message, then a spanish language message, before even being presented with routing options. the options are recited too slow for my liking, and go about three levels deep. i’m forwarded somewhere else, where the line rings and i’m put on hold with another longwinded message. finally, i’m told that due to unusually high call volume, i’ll probably be helped in about fourty minutes. and this is a GOOD system–at least they inform of the estimated delay somewhat specifically.
1) there should be a way of attaching a language preference to a household’s phone number, or at least minimizing the impact of language messages.
2) don’t lie or misrepresent. don’t market 24/7 just because it’s TECHNICALLY true. the statements have to have demonstrable meaning to customers. i know the one guy there was sleeping because he never gets calls at 1am.
3) never let a customer wait more than five minutes. offer to call them back, and stick to the estimated time closely.
4) be concise, and maybe users could have control over speaking speed?
5) don’t forward to another system, especially if information there is redundant or it risks disconnecting the customer after he worked so hard to get to that point.
6) assume that customers don’t phone looking to be upsold, cross-sold, re-sold, or sold anything at all. at least wait until you know what they’re there for.
Ouch. At least it wasn’t long distance… When Godaddy coughed on my database a while back, I called the support line – not toll free – and it took about 14 minutes to get a Real Live Human who gave me an answer. That call likely cost as much as my hosting service for a couple of months…